Robert’s Story — A Lesson in Saying No to ‘Just Say No’

Robert, a 53-year-old masonry foreman, tells his story:

My name is Robert, and I’m a recovering addict. I developed my addiction late in life, at age 50. Before that, I’d never had a problem with alcohol or drugs. Until it happened to me, I always thought drug addicts were low-lifes who couldn’t hold down a job and who couldn’t say ‘no’ when offered drugs or alcohol.

It’s not that I was a teetotaler, either. I’d always enjoyed drinking a few beers with the guys after work. And, my wife and I drank when we’d have friends over, or when we’d watch sports on TV. My drinking never got out of hand, though. I never got in trouble with the law, and my drinking never interfered with my job.

The whole thing started when I got injured on the job. I was showing this young kid how to lift block the proper way. I twisted the wrong way and fell. I tore several ligaments in my knee and blew out the cartilage in my lower back. I knew better — it was a stupid injury. I was out of work six weeks right before Christmas. I wanted to get back to work quickly. I asked my doctor for a painkiller, and he prescribed Oxycontin.

What I didn’t know at the time was how easy it was to become addicted to pain pills, especially a medication like Oxycontin. I didn’t know that my body was developing something called ‘tolerance,’ which caused me to need to take more and more pills just to kill the same amount of pain. Even worse, I began experimenting with how I could get more mileage out of the pills. One day, when I was in excruciating pain, a buddy suggested I snort the medication instead of taking it orally. I tried snorting one time, and the next thing I knew I was hooked. Eventually my employer found out. I didn’t realize how the drugs had been affecting me, but I learned that my personality had changed from an always easy-going guy to a Dr. Jekyll-Mr. Hyde.

My employer referred me for treatment, but I really didn’t think it was necessary. I was still convinced I could manage my problem on my own. I thought addiction was just a matter of willpower, of just saying no.

I was worried my friends and family would find out I was an addict, so I avoided treatment for a long time. Even when I finally agreed to seek help, I was only willing to complete the first few days of treatment before I dropped out. It wasn’t long before I had relapsed. By then, my wife and family knew something was wrong. This time, everyone insisted I not only start treatment, but also stick with it.

That was three years ago, and I haven’t touched drugs since. What I learned from my experience is that it takes more than willpower to overcome an addiction. It takes courage to admit the problem, to reach out for help, and to recognize that addiction is a complex illness that requires professional treatment. My therapist also suggested I join a support group, Narcotics Anonymous. One of the first things I learned is that I suffered from what people in recovery call, ‘stinking thinking,’ because I had mistakenly believed I could handle my addiction on my own. My therapist and group members helped me recognize an important first step to addiction recovery — that as an addict, I am powerless over my addiction, and that if I’m going to get better, I can’t manage my recovery alone.

Here’s another account of the struggle to overcome addiction, as told by a former member . . .

I was a card-carrying journeyman from southwest Washington State. My dues are not current, since I have not worked steady since April 2001. The economy was hit hard out west. Union jobs are scarce and I am currently unemployed. I am a bricklayer, but I am lost. This is my story:

I came to the Union in 1996. I had residential (non-union) experience at that time. I have been in the trade since 1988. From the onset, my experience with the craftsmen I worked with was fantastic. They were all very positive and caring individuals. If I ever needed help it was there for me. All I had to do was ask. I did this in my work-a-day world, and I quickly accelerated my career to become a journeyman bricklayer. For the first time in my life I was experiencing the positive dynamic that is “brotherhood.” I felt the power of being helped and understood, and I was beginning to be a craftsman who could help and understand others.

The trouble is, I failed to ask for help in a more important segment of my life. You see, I am an alcoholic and I thought I was concealing this fact pretty well. I realize now that the only one blind was me. I was fooling no one. The troubles in my home life, and my growing frustration on the job were all directly attributed to my alcohol consumption.

I have been sober for nearly two years now. I have had an ample amount of time to reflect upon my life with BAC. I realize now that I was once a member of a group of people who care deeply about the human condition. I also realize that if I had turned to my fellow craftsmen for help they would have been conscientious enough to point me in the right direction. I never truly asked for help because I felt I could solve my problem alone.

Addiction, in any form, pervades our society. I am not so naïve as to believe that it is non-existent in the trades. I wasn’t drinking by myself, and oftentimes I was belly-up to the bar with fellow tradesmen. My point is this: if you need help you probably know it. If you think you are going to beat your addiction by feeding it you are wrong. Turn to your buddy on the line and ask for help. It is the first step in solving your problem. Admit you are powerless over your addiction and you may begin to realize that you are part of a brotherhood that cares.
I may never work in the Bricklayers and Allied Craftworkers Union again. Believe me, I wish that I could, for it will take me the rest of my life to thank all the BAC members for finally making me realize what true brotherhood is.